When the twenty foot dragon poofed into existence right in front of him, Chris almost peed his pants. Bob did pee his pants and Chris will never let him live it down. Just as soon as he escaped from the, oh shit, fire-breathing dragon.
The stream of fire arched over the pool and away from Chris and Bob. Still, Chris was going to begin running any second now, just as soon as his brain stopped gibbering at him and gave the directions to his legs. The fire stream ended, it had shot out a good ten yards, and the dragon began coughing, and, eww, spitting out phlegm. Huge gobs of bright, green snot. Really, eww.
And then the dragon spoke and Chris's brain shut up.
"Excuse me, excuse me. Smoking. Filthy habit. Which one of you is Chris?" Bob, apparently not as frozen as Chris, hastily pointed at him and started backing away. He eventually turned around and ran back into the house. Chris wanted to call him a spineless bastard, but he was still speechless.
The dragon clapped his little hands together, one of them holding a scepter, Chris finally noticed, and said, "Ah, good! I was hoping I had the coordinates right! So, you have one wish, what shall it be?"
Chris said, "Blrgh?"
The dragon gave Chris a confused look and then shook his head off to the side. He said, "Sorry, didn't catch that, mate."
Chris's brain kicked into gear and he said, "What the hell are you?"
I'm a dragon," and the dragon turned around and pointed at the tiny, gossamer wings on his back as he continued, "but I'm also a fairy."
Chris's brain suddenly kicked into gear and not-so-helpfully supplied many jokes about that. Remembering the fire-breathing, he held his tongue for once. Still, he couldn't resist repeating, "A dragon...fairy."
"You want to make something out of it, bud?" Apparently the dragon had heard it all before.
Chris shook his head quickly and vigorously. "No, no, whatever floats your boat, man. Just I've never heard of a dragon fairy before." It took all of his will not to snicker as he said 'dragon fairy,' but he managed.
Relaxing his stance, the dragon replied, "No, dragons generally don't go into the fairy line of work. Consider it too sissy. But it pays good and you can't beat the benefits."
Finally beginning to wonder what the hell was in that joint Bob had brought over, Chris decided to play along. "You get benefits?"
"What, you think I'd go around with flimsy little wings like this for nothin'?"
Well, that was a good point. The little wings looked really silly on such a big dragon, if Chris did say so himself. "They are pretty small, couldn't you get them larger?"
Chris smiled as the dragon answered seriously. "Nah, this was the largest they came in. Fairies generally being tiny and all."
"Of course. What was I thinking. So one wish, huh?"
"Yes! Yes! Wish away!" Chris could just make out the Dragon’s wings fluttering in his, well, excitement at granting Chris’s wish, and it was all he could do not to laugh. This dragon took his fairy duties seriously. Still, real or a total hallucination, he didn’t want a stupid wish. He sat down to think about it.
With exasperation, the dragon said, “Oh, you’re one of those.” He settled on his haunches and began shooting out short, quick patterns of smoke and fire. Chris was fascinated by the dragon’s display for long moments, but eventually shook his head and concentrated on his wish. This was important business.
His family were all healthy and happy, so everything was cool there.
Wishing for fame or fortune would be stupid, he had those already. Things may not be as grand as in the heyday of NSYNC, but they were still pretty fantastic in that regard. And, really, he wouldn’t want to have to put up with what Justin did these days. He liked his middling celebrity that allowed him to go where he wanted, when he wanted with a minimum of fuss, but still some level of VIP treatment.
His career was kind of aimless right now, so there was one possibility. The problem was how to phrase the wish. He didn’t want to just be successful for celebrity’s sake, he wanted to be able to make the music he loved and have people appreciate it musically. And, oh god, he was sounding like JC now. How much pot had he smoked? Next thing you know he’d be wearing hot pink. Shudder. He’d keep this in mind as one possibility, but he wouldn’t be too hasty in selecting it. There were too many chances of it going wrong.
His love life was the pits, but what else was new. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be messing around with it. He wasn’t a mushy love kind of guy and who really wanted someone around, being bossy and touching all his stuff, anyway? He had accepted it in NSYNC because, he had given his heart to the guys before he realized what was happening. Not that he had considered pursuing anyone in the group at the time. He would never have risked NSYNC, not even for love.
No one felt the way he did about the band anymore, though. Well, Lance. They were kindred spirits in many ways, but Lance liked pretty, buff boys and Chris was anything but. If Chris occasionally dreamed of having Lance and thus a piece of his heart back, well, that’s no one’s business but his.
And, anyway, Chris wouldn’t feel right wishing someone to be in love with him. He’d always know it was fake, that they hadn’t really felt that way about him before the wish.
So, anyway, love was definitely out.
He could go the other way and just wish for some hot sex. Oh, yeah, that had some possibility. He liked the simplicity of it. There was very little chance of the wishing getting fucked. Plus, he’d been having such bad luck lately, he hadn’t gotten any in, well, never mind.
Nodding his head, Chris stood up and said, “Hot sex. Blows your mind, pass out it’s so hot, one night stand sex.”
The dragon coughed and turned bright red, which was a trick since he was green to begin with, and said, “Ah, how risqué of you. Not what I was led to expect. But your wish is my command.” He then waved his little scepter around and with a poof, Lance appeared in front of Chris. The dragon smiled delightedly. With a lot of teeth.
Lance was wearing a tight t-shirt, jeans whose hems dragged over his heels, and flip-flops. His hair was artfully standing up and he had huge sunglasses on. He was also holding his car keys in front of him and looking around Chris’s backyard in bewilderment.
Despite the toothy smile on the dragon fairy, Chris hissed, “What is this? I can’t have sex with Lance!” He was already half in love with him, sex would only complicate things. He couldn’t have sex with any of the guys no matter how awesome a dragon fairy said it would be. And, wow, really, it would be awesome? No! Never mind! He wasn’t thinking about that.
Lance’s head shot back around and he looked at Chris with shock. Shaking it off, he pointed at Chris and said, “Aha! I knew you weren’t straight! Joey owes me a hundred bucks!”
The dragon said, “You wished for hot, never forget sex. You didn’t specify a gender.”
Lance perked up even more and smirked at Chris. Chris knew denial would be pointless. He had purposely left the gender unspecified, and Lance could always sniff out his lies. He was part hound dog or something, the annoying freak.
Crossing his arms defensively, Chris said, “I wouldn’t be too impressed with myself just yet. I also specified a one night stand, so he’s basically calling you easy, Bass.”
The dragon clapped his hands again, and said, “Well, now that this is all settled, I’ll be on my way. Enjoy your wish!” and with a poof he was gone.
Both Chris and Lance shouted “Hey, wait!” but they were too late.
Putting his hands on his hips, Lance said, “How am I supposed to get home now? And how in hell did I get here in the first place? And hot sex, Chris? What kind of wish is that?”
Resisting the urge to pinch Lance to make sure he was real, or to just pinch him because he was an ass, Chris said, “I have no idea. I hallucinated a dragon fairy and here you are. And none of your business!”
Although Chris was getting the sneaking suspicion that the dragon fairy had been real and he had just wasted a wish teleporting Lance. He didn’t know what Lance was complaining about. If anyone would appreciate being teleported by a dragon fairy it would be, well all right, it would be JC, but Lance would be a close second. And Lance wasn’t the one hoping for hot sex and getting an irate ex-bandmate instead.
“Come inside. You can call an airline.” Chris shuffled dejectedly towards his house. Not that he really believed in wishes, but for a second there, well, he had thought he might get lucky. Bob the scaredy cat had locked the back door, but luckily he kept a key hidden under a planter. Lance took off his sunglasses and followed Chris into the cooler house. Bob was nowhere to be found. Chris was glad there were no witnesses to the Lance fiasco.
Sitting down at the kitchen table, Chris waved airily towards the phone. Lance put his sunglasses down on the counter and sauntered over to Chris. He said, “You don’t think you’re getting off that easily do you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Denial was always a good first defense.
Putting his hands on his hips, Lance said, “Hot sex, Chris? What the hell kind of wish is that?”
“None of your business.”
“Apparently, it is my business.” Remarkably, Lance looked serious. Chris had expected much more ribbing than he had gotten so far and he wasn’t prepared for a discussion. It was almost like Lance was serious about them having sex. Chris ignored the flash of heat that went through him. The reflex to squash those thoughts was still strong.
Chris said, “Are you going to call the airlines, or do I have to do it for you, you prima donna?” Side-stepping avoidance was always a good second defense.
“Oh, I think I can spare a couple days for my, apparently, hard up friend.” Lance had been edging closer during their conversation and he was now so close to Chris, he loomed and blocked any chance of escape that Chris might hope to make.
Crossing his arms, Chris said, “That’s not necessary. It’s all been a misunderstanding, I’m sure.”
“So, you don’t think I would be the best sex you’d ever have?” Lance’s voice gained a deeper timbre as he spoke and a shiver went through Chris. Apparently, he knew how to play to his strengths.
Chris gulped. There was no safe answer to that question. He refused to even consider it. He ignored the images of acres of sun-kissed skin and heated green eyes that filled his brain. His eyes darted around for an escape and to keep his gaze off Lance’s crotch which was right there.
Lance chuckled evilly, the bastard, and said, “Silence implies assent, I think.” He took a step even closer to Chris, brushing his knees, making Chris lean back in his chair as far as he could. Leaning down, Lance whispered in Chris’s ear, “Of course, I’m not that easy. You wished for great sex, not guaranteed sex.” He then stepped back and went over to lounge against the counter.
Chris wasn’t so casual. His mind was gibbering again, confused by his absolute dictate never to think of the other guys that way and risking the group, contrasted with Lance’s flirting. He was pulled in polar opposite directions and he could feel his poor brain breaking again.
Chris said, “Blrgh?”
Lance laughed and looked smug. Seriously, how could they have been in a band together for so many years without him knowing how evil Lance was? Oh, he knew Lance was crafty and sneaky and a great straight-man for his jokes, but this was just plain evil.
Still.
Chris was the master of evil; he’d show Lance. And attack always made a great third defense. Chris straightened his shoulders and firmed his resolve. He stood up and pointed at Lance. “A wish is a wish. I wished for a one night stand. You wouldn’t be here unless the sex was guaranteed.” If his voice went even higher than normal on the word sex, he’d never admit it.
Oh my god.
Sex with Lance was guaranteed. Lance wanted to have sex with him. Suddenly the reality of that crashed over him and Chris sat on the floor, stunned. He looked up at Lance who was blushing slightly now, and looked less evil and more like the Lance he had known forever. Chris said, “Lance?”
Getting a guilty yet defiant look on his face, Lance said, “Shut up! How was I supposed to know you’d ask Sylvester for hot sex? No sane person wastes a wish on a one night stand, Chris! What’s wrong with wishing for love?”
Love? Was Lance saying he was in love with him? Chris’s whole world tilted. “Are you saying?”
Now Lance crossed his arms defensively and said, “Yes, you wanker. But I’m not having a one night stand with you!”
“Lance, how long?”
“It’s why Reichen and I broke up. Chris, what are you?”
“I’ve always had feelings, Lance, just never—” Before Chris could finish his sentence, Lance kneeled on the floor next to him and kissed him. Chris did not squeak in surprise, he’s positive that sound came from Lance. He kissed back fervently.
He was just sinking into the kiss when an insidious thought cropped up. He mentally batted it away, but it persisted. Finally he allowed it to form in the hope of getting rid of it so he could go back to the kissing undisturbed.
That’s weird.
Chris pulled back and said, “Wait a minute. How do you know the dragon fairy’s name? He never said it.”
Lance got a familiar, guilty look on his face.
Chris said, “Lance...” in his sternest voice.
Lance sighed and with a caught look on his face said, “Well, see, there was this dwarf who was also a fairy and I got one wish..."